


Grief, and the Smile Junkie

by toushindai (WallofIllusion)



Series: Grief, and the Smile Junkie [1]
Category: Baccano!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5012395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WallofIllusion/pseuds/toushindai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elmer wishes Huey would smile. After the end of Crack Flag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grief, and the Smile Junkie

**Author's Note:**

> v. concentrated Elmer here. Offhand references to child abuse, and no empathy.

It was a little easier than he expected to get Huey home. He seemed willing, at least, to be led, though he didn’t meet Elmer’s eyes or speak, even when Elmer paused at an intersection and asked, “Which way?” He didn’t respond at all, actually, just stood there shaking, leaving it up to Elmer to decide. Elmer chose to turn down the street towards Huey’s home rather the Mask Maker hideout. Honestly, he thought it probably didn’t matter much either way. There was a proper bed at Huey’s home, if he wanted to rest; but it was a bed he’d shared with Monica, and he didn’t seem inclined towards fond recollection right now. But, to put it another way, that meant there was nowhere that would intrinsically improve Huey’s ability to smile right now. The choice was essentially moot, and so Elmer chose Huey’s home.

When they reached the warehouse, Huey unlocked the front door mechanically and let Elmer trail inside after him before shutting it again. He proceeded, just as mechanically, up the stairs. As Elmer followed him, the change in how he was moving provoked a new kind of pain in his side and he winced.

“Hey,” he said apologetically, “do you have some bandages I could wrap this up with?”

Still without speaking, Huey opened a drawer of his desk with a clatter and removed a roll of gauze and a jar of some kind of paste. He set them down on top of the desk and then turned his back to Elmer to fall into bed. He curled up tightly, facing the wall.

Good call on coming here, then.

Elmer said, “Thanks!” and picked up the jar Huey had gotten out for him. The label said _for burns_ in Huey’s neat handwriting, and it occurred to Elmer that for all the work Huey did with fire, of course he’d be prepared. Under other circumstances, he might’ve asked whether the salve was something Huey had developed himself or maybe if it was Renee’s work. But for now he stifled his curiosity and instead warned, “I’m gonna have my shirt off, so you might not want to look over here.”

Unsurprisingly, there was no answer. So, Elmer stripped out of his jacket and shirt—they’d been scorched through, just like the robe had—and took a look at burn his friend had given him. As far as burns went, it wasn’t too severe, or too big. He’d definitely had worse before. But burns were always so angrily _insistent_ about how much they hurt, so he was glad to find that Huey’s salve had some cooling properties to it.

He rubbed the salve into his side and then wrapped the bandages around his torso. The actions were easy, familiar from an earlier time back when he was hurt more often. The only real difference was that his parents weren’t there, smiling their gratitude that Elmer could bear all of their pain.

In the middle of buttoning his shirt back up, Elmer paused, his gaze directed at a dark spot on the wall.

“Huey?” he said quietly. “You should smile.”

For once, the words felt as hollow and empty to him as they always sounded to others. Not because he didn’t mean them—he did, and desperately so—but because he said them knowing it was hopeless. He didn’t need to turn towards Huey to know that he wasn’t smiling. That he probably wouldn’t be capable of smiling for a while.

He didn’t need to turn, but once he finished buttoning his shirt he did so anyway, and he spoke to the thin, shivering outline of Huey’s back.

“You should smile because mourning won’t change anything or bring her back. It just feels terrible, right?”

He was speaking for his own satisfaction, just as he always did. But he didn’t feel satisfied. Right now, he felt overwhelmed at the depth of Huey’s loss, at the thought of how long it would be before he’d see one of Huey’s reluctant, sarcastic smiles again. He didn’t want Huey to dwell in this pain, and so he spoke, offering arguments that made perfect logical sense to him but always seemed to upset those around him.

“You should smile, because she would have wanted you to be happy. She smiled for you, right? She smiled when she saw us, and Huey, I swear, it was the most honest, most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”

And in that moment Elmer had felt something caught between his heart and his throat, something that might have been joy or gratitude or love, and he’d burned her last smile into his memory to bring to mind whenever things felt impossible. Like they did now. He wished her smile could give Huey the same strength it gave him.

“She would have wanted you to be able to smile like that too, Huey.”

Huey remained silent as Elmer pleaded with him. Only his quivering shoulders and the ragged rhythm of his breath confirmed that he hadn’t fallen asleep.

“Are you hearing any of this?” Elmer asked, and there was no response. But of course he wasn’t hearing it. If Huey had heard anything he’d just said, he would have burst out of bed with all the rage of a trapped animal and attacked him, and he would have been justified in doing so and if that would have brought him even one step closer to being able to smile again, Elmer would have gladly borne the abuse. That was easy. He was used to that. When he was nine, he had heard—for the first time—someone besides himself cry with pain: She came into his room with a face as blank and unseeing as Huey’s was now, mumbling something about a miscarriage, and pulled him from his bed, and then as she’d beaten him her face had twisted into an unfamiliar expression and he’d heard her making sounds that he’d thought only he could make. But when she was done, she gave a deep sigh of relief and cupped his cheek and said _thank you_ , and she’d smiled, and Elmer understood that he had helped.

A long, quiet moment passed. Briefly, Huey’s ragged breaths caught even more, as if he were gulping back tears, but then they evened out again. Elmer finally broke the silence.

“Huey? Do you want me to go?”

Huey didn’t respond. It was possible that he still wasn’t hearing Elmer at all.

“If you want to be alone, I’ll leave. But you have to say it explicitly. Otherwise I’m gonna stay, because you’re my friend, and I don’t want to lose you like this. And besides, I made Monica a promise in exchange for that smile. I promised I’d look after you and make you smile from now on. I’m not gonna break that promise.”

He waited for Huey to answer, but nothing came. And so Elmer pulled out the chair from Huey’s desk and took a seat.

“All right, then,” he said. “I’ll stay.”


End file.
